She lives in Soho (NYC) so hopefully when I'm up there in a couple months I can see her. She said she'd tell me all the places I need to check out shopping wise. Yay!
This is our little changing closet. All of us changed in here together and it could get a wee bit cramped. It's a good thing we all really liked each other.
This is me wearing another unfortunate dress. Gee, what decade does this remind you of?
Here is a pic of me and model Hailey at dinner one evening at LaDuni (yum!) with another model, Erica's, fingers in front doing a peace sign. With this pic I mainly just wanted you to be able to see the supercute feather headband my mom got me at Steinmart. People, they have a million cute headbands right now. You must go.
Ahhhhh, finally some Badgley!
Yeah, a "1,2,3" would have been nice so I would have been smiling instead of giving the camera a death glare but anyway....more importantly, this is Allison. Now I'm getting to the part where I explain why God put me in Dallas this past weekend and it wasn't really to wear Badgley, it was to meet Allison. The very first morning of market all of us were sitting around some tables eating the catered breakfast in the showroom. I was the newbie so I was trying to get to know everyone. At some point Cortney (whom I already knew) was asking me for an update on Hayden's health and how she was doing. I could tell Allison was listening quietly and eventually she asked me "Why is your daughter doing breathing treatments?" I told her Hayden has cystic fibrosis and her mouth dropped open. "Both my siblings have CF!"
I could not believe it. There are only around 30,000 people in the entire nation with CF and here I come for a modeling job and meet a girl whose brother and sister have it!?! Even though Allison doesn't have the disease she has been affected by it her entire life. She was there when her siblings were going in and out of the hospital. She has worried about them along with her parents. She knew exactly what I was talking about when I rattled off all Hayden's medications. I was blown away. I fully expect to meet CF family members when I go to CFF events or conventions but the chances of this happening are slim to none and it blew me away.
Her brother is in his early 30s and her sister in her late 20s. They aren't doing super great but are doing as well as can be expected for their age, I guess. They have outlived what the life expectancy was when they were born. Her brother's lung function has unfortunately dropped to only 25% after getting the flu. He and his doctors are doing everything they can to bring that number back up.
God was completely a part of our meeting. For her, I think I was able to be someone who understands what her life has been. Her family really hasn't done much with the foundation so I don't know that she has had many people to talk to that get it...really get it. For me, she gave me something huge. She put a fear to rest that I never really even openly talk about. It's not even a fear over Hayden's health but about the people in her life.
Even now as I write this, I'm crying. Until the day it happens, I will have in the back of my mind that someday Hayden is going to realize she is different. She's going to realize that none of her friends have a vest, and three hours a day of treatments, and the other kids at school aren't taking pills before they eat. Someday I am going to have to tell that sweet baby that she has a disease. I, of course, won't put it that way but, the truth is, someday she will have to know. How I wish she could stay blissfully unaware of the differences between her and other kids. Right now it is fine. Right now the other kids don't think anything of it but the day will come when Hayden will be "different". The day will probably come where she won't want everyone to know she has CF.
Since the beginning, I have prayed for Hayden that God would bring special people into her life. I want her to find precious friends that will love her for who she is and completely support her. Friends that will never leave her out of a slumber party even though she will have to come with nebulizers and a vest. Friends that will make her feel just like everybody else and not "the sick girl". Hayden has so much to give and the thought that she would ever be left out or miss out on anything because of her disease kills me.
Not only was Allison able to tell me about the wonderful friends her brother and sister had growing up, more importantly she was able to tell me about the amazing wife and husband God brought to them. She and I both cried as she told me how their spouses were so supportive when they found out about their disease. They both said it didn't matter to them. They loved them for who they were and were in it for the long haul. For them, this means marrying someone who will spend most their time in the hospital. For them, this means organizing nebulizers and medications and doctor's visits 24/7. For them, they had to be willing to commit themselves to someone who might not have that much time left. Can you even imagine how special a person like this has to be? Someone who loves them NO MATTER WHAT. Someone who never once looked at them and saw a disease.
I have prayed for this person for Hayden. I know it's a long time from now but, as a mother, I worry. Something about talking to Allison and hearing the stories of her siblings' spouses brought me comfort. It wasn't a chance meeting. It was a meeting planned by God disguised as a modeling job. The Badgley Mischka gowns we were wearing were just icing on the cake.
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